ICLP電子報第49期：我捨不得離開ICLP ~ I Can’t Stand to Leave ICLP (featured in 49th ICLP Bulletin)
To begin with, this is fictional. I’m going to stay at ICLP another year. My prompt for this assignment was to write from the point of view of a depressed student, and because the end of the school year was coming, it was perfect timing for a piece like this.
我捨不得離開ICLP (original article including photos)
I Can’t Stand to Leave ICLP
English Translation of an Article by James Smyth
I’ve been down in the dumps lately, and it’s all because I have to leave ICLP. I called Taiwan President Ma Ying-jeou and used an emotional appeal to try to convince him to help me stay here. He said he felt my pain, but he couldn’t help me because he has to convince Taiwanese skilled workers to stay in the country rather than emigrate first. A fortune teller told me he couldn’t help because studying isn’t in my future. It looks more and more like no one can help me.
I don’t want to go to a restaurant that’s not Sababa.
I don’t want to drink juice if it’s not made by Grandma Amy at the Xinhai Gate.
I don’t want to dance if the music isn’t “Radio Plays” BGM.
I don’t want to eat lunch if I can’t listen to a lecture while doing it.
I don’t want to open my mailbox if it won’t have emails from Ariel inside.
I don’t want to write characters if Ms. Zhou isn’t giving me a dictation test.
I don’t want to go to class if Mr. Chen isn’t there to say hello to me.
All these things are irreplaceable.
I feel worse every day. I often go to the office to chat, but last Friday they told me that although they don’t want to say goodbye to me, either, if I ever enter their office more than ten times in a single day again, they’ll have to call campus security on me. I don’t want to miss a single minute of class, and I’m afraid of oversleeping, so I hide in the computer room at night until Mr. Chen has locked the doors. Then I take a shower in the fourth floor restroom, eat the leftovers in the third floor refrigerator, and sleep in front of the door of my first period class.
I’m really worried about forgetting Chinese when I go back to America. I tried to stuff all my textbooks into my suitcase, but they didn’t fit. I won’t be able to avoid speaking English in the States, but when I do, I’ll feel guilty about breaking ICLP rules. But I’m afraid I’ll be lonely, too, because women only willingly talk to me during class time. I asked Head Teacher Chen for John Smith and David Lee’s contact information so I’d have someone to talk to, but she said I don’t need it because they already live inside my heart. [John and David are fictional exchange students from our textbooks.]
If I can write for the ICLP Bulletin one more time from the States, I’ll get to feel happy one more time, but if I don’t have a life, I won’t be able to write about my life after ICLP. Every day is agony. Please help me before I have a nervous breakdown!