水源宿舍氣象報告 ~ Shui Yuan Dormitory Weather Report (featured in 41st ICLP Bulletin)
Shui Yuan Dormitory Weather Report
Author: James Smyth
Editor: Chen Liang-yu
Good morning, everyone. This is the NTU Prince House Shui Yuan Dormitory Weather Report.
Last night, the cleaning staff finally finished clearing the avalanche of things which the California students left behind when they returned home and which had thrown Buildings A and B into chaos. Thank you all for your patience.
Here is today’s forecast.
Just recently, one of our friends from abroad put his shoes into a washing machine because he could not read the instructions, which are written in Chinese. Hence, for the next thirty minutes, there will be a heavy thunderstorm in the vicinity of the Building B laundry room.
Taipei is enjoying a break from several days of cold weather, but as ever, the temperature inside the dormitory is lower than the temperature outside; from the 10th floor upward, the low temperature will reach -10°C tonight. After the male students’ girlfriends leave Building B at 11:00 PM, the building will become darker and quieter than ever, and there will be audible sobbing.
We would like to remind ICLP students who are shivering too much to understand John Smith and Gao Shoumin’s conversations that the warmest place in the region is 7-11. But when you dash over there, please be careful of the white tiles, because on rainy days, they are more slippery than the fraudulent auntie from New Radio Plays. I, for example, fall down over there every day.
From 6:00-8:00 PM, the scents of curry and hot dogs will gust through the dormitory.
Tomorrow night, because NTU’s final exams are ending, the awful odors that have afflicted some areas will recede, as students who have been cramming will finally have time to bathe.