水源宿舍氣象報告 ~ Shui Yuan Dormitory Weather Report (featured in 41st ICLP Bulletin)

41st ICLP Bulletin – 臺大國際華語研習所 電子報 第41期

水源宿舍氣象報告
作者:史杰輝
編輯:陳亮妤

大家,早安。以下是台大水源太子宿舍的氣象報告。

昨天晚上,受上個星期加州班學生回家後所留下的廢棄物雪崩的影響,A、B棟的公用室亂七八糟,清潔人員剛剛才整理好,謝謝各位的耐心等候。

以下是今天的氣象預報。

剛才在B棟地下室,一位外國朋友因爲看不懂中文説明的緣故,把鞋子放在洗衣機裏,因此接下來的三十分鐘,洗衣機附近地區將有大雷雨。

雖然在外面連續幾天的冷天氣今天將告一段落,可是宿舍裡的氣溫普遍比外面低,其中十樓以上的房間低溫甚至達到零下十度。十一點鐘男性學生的女朋友們離開B棟後,那裏將變得又暗又安靜,聽得到男學生們的啜泣聲。

提醒冷得聽不懂約翰司米玆跟高壽民對話的ICLP學生們,氣溫最高的地方是7-11。不過,跑到那裡的時候,非注意白色瓷磚的走道不可,因爲下雨的時候,那裡比廣播劇的騙子阿姨更加狡猾(腳滑)。以我為例,我每天都在那裡跌倒。

在晚上六點到八點之間,有咖哩跟熱狗香味的鋒面將過境宿舍。

明天晚上,受到大學生期末考試考完的影響,局部的惡臭將消失,因爲連續不斷念了好幾天書的台大學生們終於有時間洗澡了。

Shui Yuan Dormitory Weather Report
Author: James Smyth
Editor: Chen Liang-yu

Good morning, everyone.  This is the NTU Prince House Shui Yuan Dormitory Weather Report.

Last night, the cleaning staff finally finished clearing the avalanche of things which the California students left behind when they returned home and which had thrown Buildings A and B into chaos.  Thank you all for your patience.

Here is today’s forecast.

Just recently, one of our friends from abroad put his shoes into a washing machine because he could not read the instructions, which are written in Chinese.  Hence, for the next thirty minutes, there will be a heavy thunderstorm in the vicinity of the Building B laundry room.

Taipei is enjoying a break from several days of cold weather, but as ever, the temperature inside the dormitory is lower than the temperature outside; from the 10th floor upward, the low temperature will reach -10°C tonight.  After the male students’ girlfriends leave Building B at 11:00 PM, the building will become darker and quieter than ever, and there will be audible sobbing.

We would like to remind ICLP students who are shivering too much to understand John Smith and Gao Shoumin’s conversations that the warmest place in the region is 7-11.  But when you dash over there, please be careful of the white tiles, because on rainy days, they are more slippery than the fraudulent auntie from New Radio Plays.  I, for example, fall down over there every day.

From 6:00-8:00 PM, the scents of curry and hot dogs will gust through the dormitory.

Tomorrow night, because NTU’s final exams are ending, the awful odors that have afflicted some areas will recede, as students who have been cramming will finally have time to bathe.

Explore posts in the same categories: Education, Published, Schoolwork, Taiwan, 中文

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