Three Capital Observations
The squirrels in Washington are massive, bloated, and largely ineffective, just like the city’s two chief organizations. Fortunately, the rest of the country doesn’t have to pay for the Redskins.
Many state license plates have inspiring, informative slogans on them. West Virginia is “Wild, Wonderful.” Illinois is the “Land of Lincoln.” Indiana is “The Crossroads of America”…oh, wait, what’s that you say? Now, it’s “www.IN.gov.”
Washington’s plate has a slogan, too. It’s…get ready for this…”Taxation Without Representation.” The capital of our nation is plotting for a revolution, it seems, because their Congressional representatives, like Puerto Rico’s, cannot vote. Never mind that Washington has 3 electoral votes, and its citizens receive $8.66 in services for every tax dollar they spend. The people are oppressed, and they’ll bring the rallying cry anywhere they drive! What a killjoy. It’s probably impossible for anyone, Washingtonian or not, to look at those plates without getting into a bad mood. Hopefully, those fellows aren’t going to secede from the union and declare their independence.
Thankfully, there are some great things about Washington, such as the monuments and museums, which brightened my love for my country. Everyone should visit them at some time or another. Don’t bring much spending money, though, because the sales tax is 10%. Those butchers! They know that tourism is one of their biggest businesses, so they use it to the utmost. Our tax dollars pay for those stupid license plates. How ironic.